Margins of the Week || A Super Hectic Week

The first week of May 2025 was so good and so bad that I have to talk about it.

I've spoken about the week to multiple people and journaled about it, but it's still not enough. Maybe because they're scattered and not fully organised. I want to take the time and recount all of it, to clearly see my mistakes and document the good memories.

I am also adding a ton of images just to break up large blocks of text but most of them have no relevance to the content. This post is going to be huge. Grab a cup of your favourite drink and settle down, this will take a while ☕️

Welcome to Margins of the Week! Instead of a diary-style blog, this is an informal post written after the events with "annotations" emulating the concept of taking notes in the margins which are messy and interleave with the main content. Tangential thoughts may or may not overtake the narration of the actual events, but that's how our minds work.

Monday, May 5th

I usually leave for work around 8:20 am so I wake up about 45 minutes earlier to get ready and write my morning pages. This morning, I couldn't decide on the outfit I wanted to wear, and nothing felt totally comfortable. What I wanted was in the laundry basket. Finally, I just decided on something, even though I didn't fully like it.

While getting ready, I also noticed long scratches on my right arm around my eczema. I must have scratched at night. I couldn't think of anything that would have triggered the scratching. Thankfully, there wasn't any blood.

I was a bit late because of dithering over my outfit and moisturising my skin extra, so I rushed to finish my morning pages. My friends and I are doing The Artist's Way course, and one of the main principles is to write 3 pages longhand every morning. Ideally, it should be done within 45 minutes of waking up. My current notebook is plain, and it takes me around 30 minutes to write 3 pages because I write small without the help of lines. Somehow, writing super fast and not at all pausing to think about anything, I managed to finish 3 pages right in time for my cab pickup.

It's been 4 weeks since I started writing morning pages, but I'm not seeing a big difference. Maybe because I've been journaling regularly for years and have attempted morning pages before. I remember feeling very different the first time I tried morning pages, it must have become regular now.

Anyway, it's been nice to write morning pages. I wake 20-30 minutes earlier to fit them in. Instead of writing morning pages first and then getting ready for work, I get ready first so that I can directly board the cab if writing takes too long. I usually ready my outfit the previous night so that I can get ready in 15-20 minutes in the morning. After that, I write quickly to fill 3 pages before I have to leave.

Writing in the morning makes me more productive, somehow, even more than using a planner. Maybe because I write down why I want to do things instead of just making a list of what I want to do. Writing the why makes me more motivated to do things and have a good day.

It was a regular day at work. It didn't feel like a Monday because I was working for two days that week. I didn't pick up any big tasks, instead focusing on finishing up what I had and doing small tasks. I was a bit uncomfortable in my outfit all day, unfortunately.

This day, I wore my new heels for the first time. I bought a new pair of wedges to wear for my friend's wedding and wanted to break them in before the events, so that I don't struggle with blisters in a new place. Although they rubbed against my toes a bunch and almost caused blisters, they were manageable. I became more confident with them. I always take time to get used to heels because I wear shoes 99% of the time. I sent a snap with the heels in frame, and a few of my friends complimented it 🙂

The new wedges made me want to wear heels more, actually. I usually don't because they're not as friendly for long walks, and I sometimes balance, but it would be better once I get used to them. I also don't wear them because wearing the heels makes me feel way too tall compared to the people around me. It's time I stopped thinking about it and wear whatever I want, though. If the footwear makes me feel pretty, I should just wear it.

After work, I did some dance practice. My friends and I were going to perform at our friend's Sangeet later in the week. We practised a couple of times virtually, but I knew basically nothing about one of the songs. My friends initially chose 6 songs which was a bit too ambitious. The previous day, we got together online to practice and I managed to convince them to cut it down to 3. So, I put on the music and practised the song that I didn't know. I knew that there would be a bunch of ironing out when we all met in person, though. There are bound to be issues when practising virtually.

As I was sweaty and a bit pumped up anyway, I decided to work out a bit. I pulled up some pins of workouts I had saved and did a bit of mixed cardio for 20 minutes. I don't really work out for the sake of working out, instead preferring to play or go for a run. However, considering the weather here is not friendly to running, I'm trying workouts at home for a bit.

Then, I freshened up and moisturised my skin. Checking up on the scratches that I saw in the morning, they were still the same and quite visible. I realised that they wouldn't heal in time for the wedding and was grateful that two of my outfits covered the eczema spot.

I was leaving super early on Wednesday and leaving the packing for Tuesday would be cutting it too short, So, I packed most of my stuff. I packed the event outfits first because they take up the most space. I was only going away for a few days but due to these heavy and bigger outfits, I was packing in a super big suitcase that can carry up to 30kg, even tho the max I can carry is 15kg. Unfortunately, the suitcase of the right size had a broken wheel so I had to go with a super big.

Packing took up most of my night so I just had enough time to do my night routine and go to bed. Currently, my night routine is to lay out the next day's outfit, update my planner for the day and plan the next day, drink water, brush my teeth, add any moisturiser or cream if required, and go to bed.

Since May 1st, I'm trying something new with the planner as well. I'm tracking everything I eat to figure out any food allergies. I have tons of allergies already and dermatologists keep telling me that I must be allergic to some food item which causes eczema flare-ups. I've tried cutting out gluten for months and cut out milk for a month too a few years ago but didn't notice any difference. So, I'm now planning to slowly experiment by avoiding different things and minutely tracking what I eat and when I have flare-ups. Yes, I can do a patch test, but I'm afraid of it causing more allergy issues than I'm ready to deal with.

Hence, when I update my digital planner at the end of the day, I write down everything I eat. Although I can make my digital planner pretty, I don't have the time for it and don't care enough. So, I just made a small box with 5 sections for Drinks, Breakfast, Lunch, Snacks, and Dinner and pasted it on every day's page throughout May. It's too early to see patterns but maybe I will in a couple of months. I'm also writing down how my skin feels every day with a rating out of 10 and sometimes a little comment like whether there's a flare-up.

Tuesday, May 6th

I woke early enough to peacefully write my morning pages. I also found the pants I wanted for the outfit I wanted to wear the previous day, so I wore that outfit. Also wore the wedges again. I felt good.

I came home an hour earlier from work as I needed to finish packing. I had a flight to Lucknow at 5 am on Wednesday. My mum decided to visit her sister since I won't be home anyway,y so she had a flight around the same time. She's very cautious about safety so we were going to go to the airport wayy earlier instead of taking a cab in the wee hours.

So, we finished packing, had a light dinner, and did any remaining things at home by 10 or so. We planned to leave around midnight so we were wasting time when one of my college friends sent a link on the group chat about mock drills happening the next day. I was super confused.

The mock drills weren't announced earlier and suddenly the topic was on every news website and channel. Basically, several cities across India were to have mock drills the next day. The time was announced for Hyderabad but considering Mum and I were travelling, we were uncertain about the scene where we were going. I was especially uncertain about the situation in Lucknow. India is.. not a war country and we don't have bunkers or ready infrastructure for proper drills. There was a lot of confusion and several texts on the group chat. I frantically read every news article I could find but the information was scant. I hoped that it was a simple drill that wouldn't change things for us.

Wednesday, May 7th

We finally left around midnight. It's about an hour to the airport so we reached around 1 am, checked in, and basically wasted time for a bit. Mom wanted coffee but we were at the airport in the only hours when minimal shops are open. Turns out, they close around midnight and open around 3 am. We finally went to the airport lounge around 2 am. I was disappointed to find that even the lounge didn't have much food. At least the coffee machine worked. We had coffee and the few food items that were out.

Around 2:30 AM, I saw the first press release for Operation Sindoor and was shocked. I was expecting mock drills, I did not expect proper fighting. I scoured the news for any more information but didn't see anything. Only one of my college friends was awake so we spoke a lot, sharing what news we saw. He saw several posts on Twitter (half of them fake) and sent me some.

I was lowkey worried about missing my flight so I didn't take a nap even though I could have. One of my colleagues recently fell asleep at the airport while waiting and missed his flight. I was worried about the flight getting cancelled or something else happening too. Although my mom was with me, she was also super sleepy. I told her to nap and busied myself with a movie. I saw a clip of The Intern (starring Anne Hathaway) on YouTube earlier in the day so I played it on my phone. It's a cute feel-good film, although I hate the ending.

Suddenly, about half an hour before leaving the lounge, I felt an itch on my neck. For context, I had severe itchiness on my neck over a week ago which finally subsided in a couple of days with an Allegra tablet. It came again on Friday but subsided quickly. Both times, I didn't notice anything when I saw my neck in the mirror, so I didn't think much of it.

The itch came back with a force this day, though. It started small and wasn't visible, so I hoped for the best and didn't do anything. On the 2-hour flight to Lucknow, it kept increasing and every brush of my jacket against my neck hurt. I kept touching my neck too, trying to understand what was wrong. I put moisturiser but it didn't help much. I tried napping with music to take my mind off it and stop touching my neck.

My friends took the 5 am flight from Bangalore and were supposed to land about half an hour after me. I planned to hang around and meet them at the airport itself. However, my flight was delayed by 10 minutes and they landed 10 minutes early so I didn't have to wait long. I met them at the baggage claim itself.

The first thing I did was drop my luggage with them and go to the washroom to see my neck in the mirror. I was disheartened to see slight redness on my neck. It wasn't barely noticeable, but visible if I pointed it out. I could feel the texture difference too; that area was much drier. I splashed cold water and put moisturising lotion. I took a photo, just to document how it looks so that I can compare later if it's becoming better or worse. I took an Allegra tablet too. I hoped that it would heal quickly and tried not to think of it.

We had booked an Airbnb to stay at for a day, since we reached Lucknow around 7:30 am and we needed a place till our train around 11 pm. We could have actually gone to the Gwalior airport which is closer to the wedding destination but we travelled to Lucknow because we had planned to join the baraat (wedding procession from the groom's side from the groom's home to the wedding location).

However, I was unsure of joining the baraat after the mock drill news. Our friend who was getting married, henceforth called "the groom", suggested that we travel on our own peacefully instead of going with the baraat since they'd be going in vans and tempo travellers, and it wouldn't really be comfortable because the entire procession would be only family members except us. So we ended up booking the train and decided to chill at the stay until we had to leave for the train.

We wanted breakfast and walked to a place we found on maps, only to find that it's closed 😞 There weren't any other places nearby either so the only option was to hope our stomachs don't eat themselves in hunger until we can get some food. We struggled to get a cab, finally got one, and then took a super long route to the stay because we missed a diversion. It took a while to find the stay as well because it was a bit hidden and the road wasn't wide enough for the cab to enter.

The groom had told us earlier that he wasn't sure of how nice the area would be (he saw it after we booked the stay) but another mutual friend of mine said it should be ok. We went with good hopes but the area was actually not nice. It was in a run-down area with small roads and the road to the house was quite smelly too. It was a good thing we weren't staying there for long.

Thankfully, the place itself was fine. It was wayyy tinier than we expected but the host clearly tried their best with the space available. The main requirements were ACs, and those were in both rooms and working. Too small to really stay there for long but manageable for a short stay.

The friend I was sharing a room with called the room that she wanted and we quickly dumped our bags to explore the super tiny place. The entire place could be covered in 10 steps, honestly, but it had everything that we needed. It had a fairly stocked kitchen, ACs, a futon in one room where all of us could hang out, wifi, and a fridge.

I was super hungry and they thankfully carried snacks so we snacked while ordering a ton for breakfast from a nearby place. We ordered enough for it to be split into two, lol. The Allegra kicked in by then so I was feeling minimal itch and could forget that I was having an allergic reaction to who knows what. We rested and chatted while the food took it's sweet time to arrive. We made space on the floor to eat because there's no dining table or a dining/living room.

It was around 11 am by the time we finished eating, still early in the day, but we were tired enough as if it were the end of the day. Understandable, since we didn't sleep at all to catch early flights. Hence, we decided to take naps. But, as it happens when friends get together after a while, 3 of us ended up chatting for a good hour after turning off the lights. They also gave me a gift! They picked it up on their last trip which I couldn't join. So sweet 🥹

My friend had brought an aloe mask to help remove her tan from their last trip but I didn't apply it, I was afraid of it worsening my allergy. Maybe that was a mistake. Aloe is known to help cool the skin and help with allergies but at that time, I was too spooked by my random itch that wasn't healing.

We finally napped for about a couple of hours. I woke first and took a bath. My friends were still asleep so I laid in bed, scrolling through the news. The news had blown up by this time, with the attack and subsequent events taking over everything. My group chat with my college friends was blowing up too (I was travelling with friends from my previous job), with everyone sharing what they know, what they think, and random jokes. If there's one thing I can say about my college friend group, it's that they're chaotic and talkative 😂

I finally saw that one of my friends was up (and working!!! He had brought his work laptop in case anyone needed his help and he was helping on vacation) and my movements woke others up too. The working friend shocked us with the news that our other friend's flight was cancelled, who had booked a flight to Gwalior the next morning. That's how I found out that several airports were shut in North India. Cue more frantic reading of news articles and worrying about whether we'll be stranded. The friend got a refund, thankfully, and could book different flights to and from Lucknow.

There was so much information online, it quickly became apparent that a lot of it wasn't true. Of course, fake information was way more prevalent on social media sites but some news articles didn't seem correct either. Both nations were trying to control the news in their favour too. The news about shelling over the LoC gave me a sinking feeling that the day's events were just the beginning.

My friends and I converged in one room and discussed the news a bit, but there was nothing we could do other than go ahead with our original plan and hope everything is okay. Our return flight wasn't impacted (yet?). To take my mind off things, I was looking at memes/Tumblr posts on Instagram and saw this highly relatable one.

I understand that every generation has lived through major historical events but it used to be one or two events in a lifetime. I'm still in my 20s and I feel like I need a history lesson every day because so much is happening every day. I really wonder how worldwide events from these last few years will be added in history textbooks. Will they be shortened enough that they lose all meaning? Will they be spoken about in detail? Will the pandemic experience be lived again and often enough that 2020 won't be worthy enough to get more than a page?

When major historical events happen, life on the ground continues. There was talk about war everywhere but my friends and I were still in an Airbnb in a different city, wondering whether the train tickets we booked only a few days ago would get confirmed or whether we would have to book a bus. We still had to practice our dance, too. We had to perform the next day and we hadn't yet practised in person. Well, my friends did but I was always virtual.

Hours later, when we became hungry again, we ordered in because we didn't at all feel like going out. We didn't want to go out and get stranded due to the mock drill either. We ordered in and it was late enough that the meal became both lunch and dinner. Our train tickets got confirmed, thankfully, so all we had to do was practice our dance and then leave for the train.

After eating, we finally practised our dance. The final track wasn't ready yet (we had to remove the songs that we chose to drop) so my friend edited it while the rest of us started practising. Almost immediately, I noticed that half my dance steps were the other way compared to my friends' 😭 I confirmed the side with them so many times and even saw them in the video chat, but it looks like their video wasn't mirrored like I expected. I had to basically relearn dances to match with them and it was a bit of a headache. There were many missteps, corrections, and one long argument over the transition between songs, but we were finally on the same page.

The plan was to dance to 3 songs and the 3rd would be with the bride. We had sent the choreography to her earlier but she said she hadn't practised yet. We hoped that she'd get time in the 1 day left to practice. The steps were simple enough so we could hope. After a good amount of practice, we were in sync enough to take a video and send it to the bride, pointing out her position.

Around 10 pm, we packed up, checked out, and left. I slept early-ish instead of chatting with friends because I was tired and we have to be up early to get off the train too.

Thursday, May 8th

I won't lie, I'm a bit stressed just typing this post. To properly document the timeline, I'm going through my messages and my saved snaps, and scrolling through it all is stressful enough. Considering that eczema always worsens when I'm under stress, it's not surprising that my allergic reaction became so bad.

Our train was meant to arrive at Jhansi around 4:45 am but it was about 30 minutes late. One of my friends and I woke up a bit early and woke the other 2 when we were 10 minutes away.

I'm not sure how it is in other countries but in India, there's no announcement or tracking in the train about the next destination. When I was young, my mom and I used to wake up well in advance and keep a note of the passing train stations by looking at the signs to have a mental note of where we were. My mom knew the order of the stations by heart after many journeys and we would get ready to leave based on her memory. After all, if we missed the stop and it wasn't the last, we'd miss it. We actually used to book trains that ended at our destination so that there wouldn't be a chance of missing the stop. We were able to manage because our destinations used to be in cities.

Now, there are a bunch of train status tracking apps. They're not totally accurate but they're fairly reliable. They're needed when we're far from our destination, otherwise Google Maps works fine to know the ETA. I love that there are so many "small" apps that make life easier. Passengers had to rely on their own or others' memories earlier and now we can confidently get off at the right stop.

We were still sleepy when we got out of the train station. We looked for cabs online but there seemed to be no Ola or Uber services there. The auto drivers there quoted a really high amount to ferry us to Orchha, where the wedding was. We tried to haggle but were still too sleepy for our brains to work properly and there wasn't another option. We didn't know the usual rates there either. Finally, we took one auto, agreeing to the super high amount. He was basically charging us for the drive to Orchha and back for himself because he wouldn't get any customers on the way back. We later heard from the groom that we should have paid less than half but oh well.

A 30-minute auto ride later, we were in Orchha. The groom had called ahead and asked the hotel to be ready to check us in. I'm really surprised and touched by the fact that he was constantly checking in with us despite it being the busiest and most meaningful days for him.

My allergy was burning by this point. It was still only a small area but it was clearly visible and it hurt. If I looked up, the skin pulled in a worrying way. When I touched the affected skin, it didn't feel like skin. I was worried. It might have been because of the heat and/or because of my jacket's collar that might have rubbed against my neck a lot throughout the night.

I freshened up in cold water and splashed a lot cold water on my neck to cool the skin. I put a bunch of moisturiser, took an Allegra tablet, and laid down to take a nap. I also realized that I forgot to bring pants to sleep in despite the detailed to-do list and advanced packing. I decided to use one of my outdoor pants, leaving only another jeans to wear out.

Before sleeping, I checked the news for any updates. I think I was the person most frantically checking the news all day, way more than the friends I was with. Two of them didn't even know what was happening until I shared updates. One of them commented that maybe they're being way to casual about it. It's possible that I was being too anxious about it too.

I was scouring for news across Indian and foreign sites, to see different perspectives. Also it's easy to believe fake news because everything looked legit. It was also very clear that India and Pakistan were reporting opposing facts. This article on information war echoed my thoughts.

The plan was to wake up around 8 and quickly go to the resort where the events would happen to participate in festivities when the baraat arrives. We had asked the groom to let us know when he's 30 mins away but he forgot and let us know when he reached, so we missed it. Understandable but there was no way we'd be awake for 3 hours waiting when we could nap, lol. We were all sorely sleep-deprived despite the scattered naps.

A college friend who I text regularly asked, "Dude you're like so close to war, are you not scared?" Nice. Thanks for making me even more paranoid.

We finally left for the resort around 10:30 am. I slathered on my soothing moisturiser, worrying a bit about the dwindling quantity because I didn't expect to use it so much and didn't bring enough, and hoped for the best. The allergy felt better because Allegra kicked in and the moisturising lotion was helping. We found an auto near the stay and were off to the resort.

We were awed by the resort as soon as we saw it. The groom had told us that it'll be a big affair but it was still surprising to see the place. I knew that I'd be underdressed because I usually don't buy super dressy outfits but I was wondering if I'll be super underdressed at this point.

One of the groom's other friends was at the entrance and told us where to go for breakfast. We were quite hungry so it was a good thing breakfast was still available considering the time. We were led to a table and a waiter brought us food from the buffet. We could have served ourselves but they were so enthusiastically serving us that we couldn't say no. They even stood by our table as we ate, ready to refill at a moment's notice, which was quite awkward. Can't say they didn't do well but I'd have liked some space to eat peacefully.

When we were done, the groom came and we chatted with him for a bit before he got pulled into conversations with others. He was the VIP of the day, after all. He told us that he arranged a cab for the other friend who had rebooked and landed in Lucknow that morning around 7:30 am. The friend was travelling all the way from Lucknow to Orchha in a cab for 6 hours to make it in time for the sangeet. I was glad that I went a day earlier even if some of the hours weren't "useful".

The groom told us to hang out because mehendi was supposed to start 12:30 pm and a really fancy Rajasthani lunch is planned as well. We did not know about this, we thought there was nothing until the sangeet in the evening. We didn't have anything to do anyway (other than practice) so we stayed. It wasn't necessary though. We could have gone back and taken a 2 hour nap, and still make it in time to have lunch.

Here's the thing. My friends and I were South Indians and people who generally arrive on time. The last time we attended a friend's wedding, everything was exactly on time and there were no delays. However, we're also not used to North Indian weddings. We did not realise that time in North Indian weddings work differently.

The groom told us that mehendi starts at 12:30 pm so we stayed since it was only an hour away. It started at 2:30 pm. 😑 The mehendi and the lunch started 2 hours late. We were literally loitering around until then. We explored the resort, sat on swings by the pool, and just hung around. We were so bored that I eventually started reading a book on my phone. Since I wanted some lightweight reading and comfort, I started rereading Tis The Season For Revenge. My allergy was manageable and I even forgot about it for a while.

Our energy was dwindling every minute. It was upto 37 degrees Celcius in the day! There was no cool breeze either. No matter how much water we drank, it wasn't enough. The heat was affecting my allergy too, slowly.

The mehendi is an event where women get henna designs put on their hands. It's a fun event in weddings where a lot of attendees sit around, chatting, and putting mehendi. My friend wanted to get it done too. I considered it but I googled whether it's safe for people with eczema and found that it's not, so I didn't.

As only a few can get it done at once and it's a time-consuming task, the MC conducted some games to keep everyone else occupied. There were song-guessing and other games. I was called up for one too and I botched it because my brain stopped working once I was in the spotlight. I barely managed to give right answers a couple of times. The MC was nice and still gave me a gift, though.

When the lunch started, there were a lot of family members and there were limited seats so my friends and I decided to eat in the next batch. We simply sat and wasted time. I read more on my phone. We finally sat down to eat around 3:30 pm and finished around 4:30 pm. My friend kept waiting for mehendi but there were so many people waiting for it and there were only 3 artists that she didn't end up getting it done in the end.

In all the waiting and loitering, we completely forgot that we were supposed to dance that evening. When we were about to finish eating, things were wrapping up and the MC announced that the sangeet would start at 7 pm sharp. (It was a lie. I will come to this later.) The bride had said that she could practice the dance with us after lunch but with all the delays, we all ate at the same, and it was too late for her. She had to get ready for the sangeet. So, not only did we not have much time, we also had to suddenly modify our dance.

We called the auto driver who dropped us in the morning and decided to practice somewhere empty until he arrived. We were tired and sleepy and out of sync. We became discouraged about the dance. We had hoped to take a nap before the sangeet but it wasn't possible anymore. My allergy was burning again too.

On the way, we went to a cloth shop because we needed to buy handkerchiefs for a part of our dance. One of my friends was adamant that it should be red and a certain type of cloth too. Thankfully, we managed to get it. The shopkeeper had to cut it specifically for us from a long roll of cloth so we were able to get the exact size we wanted.

Our friend had arrived at the stay by this time. He did not agree to dance with us but when we met him then, we tried a LOT to convince him to join us. Him dancing would be a big surprise for the groom and honestly, we needed some motivation too. We spent about half an hour convincing him, even showed him how easy the steps are, and he finally agreed to join for a small part. I won't lie, it was fun convincing him. One of my friends started speaking like a marketer too 😂

We didn't have much time so we spent about 15 minutes teaching him the steps and another 15 minutes practicing our routine with him. Before we knew it, it was 6:15 pm. We didn't feel totally confident but it is what it is. The planned time for the event was 6:30 pm and the MC had announced 7 pm (probably due to the delays). We knew that it'll be late so we didn't worry too much. Still, we were trying to be on time because... that's how we are.

We reached around 7:30 pm and nothing was ready yet. Snacks were just being laid out and there were maybe 2 people who were ready other than us. The place was empty. We were way too early. We had a lot of time to waste, again. So, we ate the snacks laid out and took a ton of photos.

All of us were dressed well. We tried a bunch of shots and settings until we found a really nice spot to take photos. We took soooo many photos. Singles, pairs, and group photos. I have way too many pictures considering I don't post anywhere now. But they're great. We all looked amazing and it came through in photos. One of my friends has a Pixel 9 Pro which has become our default camera. It does so much automatic post processing and brings out the best in photos.

I shared my photos with a few friends and all of them said that I look so good in them. I actually didn't even buy a new outfit for that event, I wore an outfit I've had since my college days. It still looked great on me and didn't feel too underdressed. I actually think it looks better on me now compared to when I bought it. It might also be because my hair looks better now and I have a better sense of style.

The couple of the day finally made an appearance around 8:30 pm. They looked great in matching outfits. The bride's dress was so pretty. Proper heavy lehenga with a lot of detailing that made her stand out. Their outfits throughout the days were well-thought out actually. They looked great every time. I was especially wowed by the bride's outfits.

That's another difference I see between the weddings I'm used to in the south and the ones in the north. The outfits are wayyyyy more grand in North Indian weddings. Sure, the couple may wear a fairly grand outfit for the reception in the south but otherwise the outfits aren't too shiny or heavy. The brides usually wear sarees and a lot of gold jewelry. They stand out but they don't glitter. But, no matter whether the north or the south, weddings add so much work and stress on the brides. I've heard many scary stories about the toll it takes on women. Someone I know even developed a lifelong back injury that significantly impacts what she can do.

Anyway. Back to the event. It took about half an hour for the couple to reach the stage, despite the distance being short. There was a huge dance break when they arrived. It looks like dancing is the thing in North Indian weddings. It wasn't so prevalent in the only other North Indian wedding I attended but people were dancing all the time, everywhere in this wedding. After the dance, there was a crazy entrance for the couple on the way to the stage with smoke and balloons. Great stuff for photos, needs a lot of patience though.

The event finally started around 9 pm. It was an engagement + sangeet so the ring exchange happened first. The MC made a laughable announcement that loud music had to be stopped by 10 pm so let's move fast. My friends and I thought that there was no way we'd be dancing. Our energy was close to zero by this point. There was a dance performance by a professional group first to start off the event and the ring exchange took a good while due to photoshoots.

Another performance by the professional dance group happened. Then some random thing with the parents and the couple was happening on stage. It was almost 10 pm when one of my friends noticed that the dinner buffet was ready, so we made a beeline for it. We were the first people to eat, lol.

We just began eating back at our table when the MC announced someone's name to dance on stage. The dances by the people began. I had had exactly two bites. My friends and I just looked at each other with absolute exhaustion. We couldn't believe that we had to dance. We started eating! There was no way we'd be awake or energetic enough to dance. The news about the dance started kinda ruined our appetites.

My friend found the groom's sister and asked if there was any order by which the MC was calling up people and she said she didn't know. After a bit, we decided that we won't dance unless someone remembers that we're supposed to. After all, only a few people know and everyone's too busy to remember us, right?

Seeing others going up and dancing with full energy after 10 pm made me realise that I am not meant for North Indian weddings. Listen, I'm doing my night routine by 10:30 pm on a regular day. On top of that, we had travelled a ton and slept very little. We also wasted a lot of energy just waiting around in the heat.

My allergy was bad too. I had moisturised before coming but it wasn't enough. The heat wasn't helping. The messed up sleep and eating schedule probably hurt too. My body didn't have enough rest or energy to heal. My top had a collar but the brush of it against my neck hurt and I had to turn it down. I even put my hair back so that my hair wouldn't brush against my neck. Even that was irritating my skin.

Around 10:40 pm, we were finally called up to dance. The MC seemed to not have our name in his list and was asking for "any more people who want to dance" so we decided to not volunteer in relief. However the groom remembered us and told the MC so, exchanging tired "let's get this over with" expressions, we went up. The friend whom we convinced in the evening needed more convincing to come up with us because he also had no energy.

It took a good few steps to muster up the energy to dance and smile but we finally got into the groove. We danced fairly well! Sure, each of us forgot many steps and we weren't in sync a lot, but it wasn't that visible in the moment. We could have practiced more but whatever we did was useful. (We only noticed a few mistakes the first time we saw our video.)

My friend and I had come up with modifications to make up for the bride's missing parts only at 7:30 pm, on our way to the event, and I totally forgot about them on stage. I couldn't jump as much in my heels which made my dance feel low-energy because Bollywood pop dances are usually full of jumping. But it was fine.

Before I made myself stop thinking about the audience because it was causing me to forget the steps, I noticed that people were actually engaged by our dance. One of our song choices got a great reaction and the event management team set off confetti during our dance too. Later, many people told us that they loved our performance. I think our handkerchief props made the impression that we were well-prepared to dance.

Our dance was 4 minutes 19 seconds long. I had to call up the other friend in the middle to join us for his part because he looked lost and ready to run away. He did well considering the amount of practice he got. When his part was done, on his way off the stage, he told another friend to get off as well 😂 Thankfully the latter didn't.

The 4 of us danced throughout. Our energy levels weren't the same but it was fine. The one guy who put in the most energy (I don't know how he had the energy???) got held back by the MC on stage after our dance and the MC called him Aamir Khan 😂 Despite how tired we were and how much we didn't want to dance, I'm glad that we did. It was fun. Would have been better if we had taken a nap and arrived late with more energy but it's fine.

The event wrapped up quickly after that. There were only a couple of dances after ours. The MC wrapped up the event around 11:30 pm with the announcement that haldi will start the next morning at 8 am sharp. (IT WAS A LIE. AGAIN.) My friends and I quickly headed back to the stay and were thankful to finally get some rest. Sure, we freshened up and stayed up talking a bit but we slept around 1 am.

Allergy status: screaming and seemed to have increased in area but I was too tired to care enough at the moment. My moisturiser was almost finished but I slathered on a lot anyway. Put my phone for charge, put the AC at 18 degrees because it was so hot, turned on the fan, and fell asleep.

Friday, May 9th

Are you tired of reading this post yet? If not, are you tired just reading about my days yet? It's no wonder that my allergy became so bad, I put it through the wringer and didn't have the time or energy to really care about it.

I woke up to an article on my college friends group chat claiming that an Indian jet destroyed a Karachi port. I scoured the news for a few minutes and didn't find anything new so decided to pause it for now.

We wanted to go late for haldi. We planned for it. And yet, we couldn't be late enough. We reached at 9 am to find that barely anyone was even awake. We finished having breakfast but still enough people weren't seen. The event's theme was yellow so all the guests had to wear yellow. We were the only ones in yellow while the few others we saw were in casuals or pajamas. The MC came to have breakfast and even he was in casual clothes!

We waited. Had water. Scrolled on our phones. Had more drinks to hydrate. Complained of the heat. Found seats in front of a cooler. Had more water. I read a lot on my phone and was close to finishing the book. Finally, at 10:30 am, we became tired of sitting around and took photos. We didn't have the energy to even smile but somehow took a bunch of photos.

We all looked great in yellow. I usually don't go for yellow and hence had to buy an outfit for this. Seeing my photos, I realized that I look great in yellow and need to try it more. I wore a proper kurta set and had pinned the dupatta on one shoulder. It wasn't thin or airy or flowy though so I was kinda roasting in the hot air. My allergy became worse too. I had to put my hair up and sit in front of the cooler so that my neck would stop being overheated. I had finished all of my cooling moisturiser that morning too and had to dip into my backup vaseline moisturiser.

Around 11:30, it seemed like the event would start soon. We saw many people out and about in yellow. There seemed to be some ritual or prayer going on in the common area of the resort's hotel which we could see a bit from outside through the glass. We were hopeful... until we saw the groom near the hotel's entrance still in his nightclothes. He noticed us and waved. I'm pretty sure he could see our tired and annoyed faces from afar. We gestured "what????" and he just shrugged.

The event finally started around 12. Four. Hours. Late. All the breakfast we had was gone by then. All the energy we had was gone. It seemed to be the norm of that week. Arrive early, wait, and have no energy left when the actual things start. Of course, all other guests arrived late enough to be on time. Only my friends and I were "super early". I texted my friend that the event started 4 hours late and that I was tired, he replied incredulously, "Did you go on time? You should always go 3 hours late." 😑 He is North Indian. That tip would have been helpful if he shared it a couple of days ago.

Of course, even though the event technically started, it didn't really start yet. The couple had to have a grand entrance. This one lasted way longer than the others. Guests were given balloons to let go of when the couple entered and there was coloured smoke. The couple walked slowly until the area set up for haldi. Then they had to walk through the area to get to the stage at the other end which was only 100 or so metres away but took 15 minutes because the professional dance troupe danced around the couple as they walked slower than turtles. Yes, I was impressed by it all. But I was too tired to be a good presence.

Before the actual haldi, there were a bunch of other things. I don't even remember half of them. There were more dances. There were some competitions. The MCs (there were 2 this day) spent a good hour or so with competitions between groom's side and bride's side. Cousins and friends from both sides competed, sometimes along with the bride and groom. My friends and I didn't even go closer to watch, let alone participate. For the 5th competition, they needed 20 people on each side and there was a shortage on the groom's side. His other friends were searching for people and pulled us in. It was fun enough but I honestly didn't do much. My friend got onto sofas as well, to fight and win 😂 It was the only battle that the groom's side won. It felt good for about 2 minutes then I was tired again.

The actual haldi event started around 2:30 pm. Who said 8 am? What a lie. We had hoped to nap in the afternoon again, did not happen. When haldi began, we were super hungry. One friend saw that lunch was ready so we went to eat, assuming that it'll take time as usual. Funny thing. By the time we ate, it finished. We waited for several hours only to miss the actual haldi 🙃

It's fine. We took photos with the couple and left. After all, there was another event in the night that we had to get ready and be back for.

My group chat was super active this day. My WhatsApp notifications aren't on so I wasn't bombarded with notifications, but I had at least 100 messages waiting every time I opened the app. A friend clarified that the Karachi port news was fake, and that led to a huge conversation. IPL was cancelled for a while. At one point, there were 250+ messages. I didn't even bother skimming and just asked for the summary. A friend replied, "Half memes half rahul roast half geo politics" 🫡 I didn't bother reading it and just skimmed the news once in a while.

The varmala exchange was supposed to start at 7 pm. However, after waiting for too long 3 times, we had learnt our lesson. We freshened up, took a nap, my friends had chai and got one for me while I napped a bit more, and we started getting ready only at 6:30 pm. We got ready fairly fast but we stayed at the hotel until we noticed the groom's other friends leaving. We left only after they left, which was after 8:30 pm.

For the first time, we were "on time" i.e. 2 hours late. We arrived at 9 and found that we still had enough time to eat snacks. And yes, it was snacks time despite dinner being laid out because the event was only getting started. We saw the groom and his family doing some ritual too.

The guys wore pagdis (groom's side got pink ones and bride's side got red) and we took photos before doing anything else. Although we were dressed well, this was the only event when we didn't get great photos because we didn't have enough time to. I still like a couple of our photos but they could've been much better. We should have looked for a spot with better lighting. We didn't take a passable group photo either, smh.

We did have some snacks. The food menu was humungous. We walked to where it was set up and it literally took over the entire space. There was a drinks section, a fruit section, a chakna (snacks that go well with alcohol) section, a chaat section, a dosa counter, an ice cream counter, a western food section, Indian grilled started section, Indian mains section, and finally a big dessert section. No expenses spared, clearly.

So traditionally, the entire groom's side arrives in a big party called the baraat. They did the baraat initially but it's technically supposed to be on the wedding day so they kinda did a fake baraat. It started at 9:30 pm. We went about a kilometre away and were going to come back, dancing, to the resort. Yes. More dancing.

For the first time, my friends and I had the energy to participate fully and boy did we give it our all. We danced like there was no care in the world and as if we were born to dance. Music was played on huge speakers on the truck that was leading us. The groom's side's family and friends made up the baraat. At the back, the groom was sitting in a chariot. The groom usually sits on a horse but I guess this a more modern and easier version? Fancier too. It felt a bit like he was the king and we were subjects entertaining him on the way 😂

The baraat dancing was super fun. We danced with everyone, danced among ourselves like crazy, and sweat a lot from the exertion. My outfit wasn't as grand-looking to match others' outfits but it was comfortable and flowy, making it perfect to dance in. (Probably not good for my allergy. Not like I was thinking about it when I was having great fun for the first time in the trip. At least my outfit didn't have a collar so there was no rough rubbing against the skin.) The groom danced with us for a bit as well but had to return to his chariot, his outfit did not look comfortable for simple movement, let alone dance. He had to look good for all the photos to come too.

We danced for a good half an hour, I think. There was even more dancing at the entrance of the resort but we sneaked away to eat and replenish our energy. They played such good songs right when we were eating, smh. I tried every chaat available and drank a lot of water.

The bride entered at 11:40 pm. Yes, that late. (Who put 7 pm as the time on the invite?? We need to have some serious words.) She looked absolutely gorgeous. Full heavy red lehenga with a lot of detailed embroidery. Her entrance took about half an hour because there were more balloons involved and also sparklers. The groom had to patiently wait for her on the far end. He couldn't even see her for most of it because photographers and guests were in the way.

Saturday, May 10th

The setting for the varmala was this really pretty glass room structure decorated with lights and plants in the middle of the pool joined to regular areas using two boardwalks on opposite sides. The couple walked from opposite sides and met in the glass structure. My friends and I got a good spot to watch the ceremony, where we could see the bride and groom walk towards each other. I got it on video too. It was genuinely like a movie scene. Their outfits, the setting, and the music in the background added to the feeling. They looked like royals in that moment, having a fancy royal wedding.

The muhurtham/muhurat (auspicious timing) was at midnight I think. I didn't realise it then because we were caught up in the festivities and I wasn't keeping track of the time. It was just a really nice event. We all enjoyed it a lot.

After that ended, the couple went into the indoor area for photo session. There's usually an event in Indian weddings where a few hours are blocked off for the couple to take professional photos with all the guests. They sit on a couch on stage or stand on stage and all guests go up in batches. It's a whole thing.

My friends and I were tired so we sat in front of a cooler for long time. Then a couple of us went to eat some proper foot because we only had chaats earlier. We ate only a bit thought, because it was late. I don't know how the time went but when we finished eating, it was 2 am. Yes, dinner was available. Indian weddings often have wacky timings.

The friend whose flight got cancelled and had to rebook was leaving the next morning so he left first. He was taking a cab again all the way to Lucknow. The rest of us considered going with but we decided to leave a bit later and go in bus, so that we can rest more. Our flights were on Sunday anyway.

Before the trip began, we had actually planned to go to Gwalior for a day of sightseeing and then take an overnight bus to Lucknow. However, we were all spooked by the tensions between India and Pakistan so we decided it's better to go back to Lucknow and stay safe. I was way more anxious than the rest so I suggested checking whether we could reschedule our flights to go back earlier. We checked, and it wasn't really feasible. We would have to travel a lot, quickly, to get to Saturday's flights and even a bit of delay would cause us to miss it. It was costing a lot to reschedule too.

We reached our hotel around 3 am. We had a bit of time before the other wedding stuff was going to happen. After all, the wedding still hadn't happened. The pheras (going round the fire) etc. were remaining. I was exhausted by this point. My friends and I decided to take rest before going again. We asked the groom's other friends to let us know when they're going so that we could go with them. There was no way we'd get transportation at 4 am.

I meant to stay awake but there was nothing to do and I was soooo tired. I decided to take a nap. All of us ended up napping. One friend woke up a while later and realised that the groom's other friends were gone, they had forgotten about us. She woke me up to let me know. After much internal debate while still 80% asleep, I said let's just not go. Because even if we get ready again, how will we go? I wanted to rest. She said ok.

I went back to sleep but she didn't. I noticed her going back to sleep around 6 am and wondered where she went. Later around 9 am, when we all woke up, she said that two of them did go back. Another friend wanted to sleep like me so only those 2 went. They walked in the middle of the night until another guest who was going to the wedding noticed them and took them along. Wow. They planned to walk all the way.

Apparently, there was barely anyone there for the wedding. The other friends stayed only for 15 minutes and left as they had a flight in another city soon. So only my 2 friends were the groom's friends in attendance. I felt really guilty for not going when I heard that. I was feeling fairly rested for the first time in the trip though.

My allergy was... there. It wasn't healing but it didn't seem to be getting any worse. I kept applying the moisturiser I had and took another Allegra tablet after breakfast.

News update: more escalations 😭 Scary stuff happening on the border, this time across states instead of only Kashmir. I read all the messages on the group chat and read a bunch of news articles. I was glad that we'd be going back home soon.

The other friend who skipped, went out and got us breakfast. We asked the hotel to get us chai as well. We quickly freshened up, packed, ate, and left. We had to board our bus on some highway at 12:30 pm. The place was 30 minutes away and we wanted to be early so we left around 11:45 am. We reached in 20 minutes. Cue more waiting in a random place 🙂 I read on my phone again.

The bus reached about 40 minutes late too. We were getting antsy by then, wondering whether the bus missed us. We were in touch with the driver but apparently he was new to the route too and didn't know exactly where we were or where to pick us up. We ended up sharing our location on WhatsApp and asked him to share as well. Somehow, the bus arrived and we got in.

We had booked a sleeper bus so we all went to our compartments. I immediately laid down. I had seen a bunch of YouTube shorts about The Rain in España over several weeks and saw a couple more a while ago. Finally, I decided to watch it. It didn't look amazing but looked fine enough. I started watching on the bus.

I couldn't watch long, though, due to motion sickness. I ended up making a makeshift pillow with my jacket and lightly napping. Somehow, the 6 hour journey to Lucknow passed. My friends had some snacks on hand so we ate a bit. The bus didn't have a lunch stop so we were a bit hungry. Our next meal was going to be dinner only.

In the evening, Trump randomly announced that India and Pakistan had agreed to immediate ceasefire. It was so weird. We believed it only when Indian officials announced it a bit later. Why did the US pres announce it though? Sure he might have mediated but it feels like he jumped the gun and did it without thinking. Shouldn't India and Pakistan be announcing it to the world? It's definitely because of other world politics going on at the same time but still. My friends mentioned how it's funny that US was talking about how they mediated but India didn't mention them even once in the official announcements. I was relieved that it wasn't going to escalate further.

We booked a good Airbnb stay for one night. My friend wanted a place with a pool and the rest of us just cared about having a good place where we can nicely rest. Right next to the apartment, there were a few shops including medical stores. My friend developed bad allergies to her jewelry so she bought a topical cream for it. I decided then that I should be a little less afraid of things and use meds to help if my skin is really annoying. I told her to use it and let me know if it works.

The stay was a 3 bedroom place, two of us (including me) claimed a room each so the guys shared the third. Although it was close to 8 pm, we had to freshen up first. The slow shower felt luxurious, I swear. Just because there wasn't no plan afterwards. I slathered on a bunch of moisturiser too. We ordered food and lounged around.

After eating, we noticed that there was a small market within the apartment complex, likely set up by people staying there itself. We went to check it out but it wasn't great. We went to the shops we had seen earlier, one of which was a bakery. We bought a few things from there to snack on and drink.

Back at the stay, we simply chilled for a bit. We got our dance video so we casted it to the TV and watched it. We all noticed many mistakes but we actually enjoyed our own dance. We did well! We watched it a few times. After that, we somehow ended up watching Bollywood song videos from our childhoods. Like the songs from Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham, etc. It was fun.

My friend used the allergy cream that she bought and said that it's fine so I applied it too. I applied only at a small spot first as a patch test and about half an hour later applied more when I had no bad reactions to it.

I was still reading the news often. The ceasefire was violated already in J&K. I worried again because ceasefire violations are a big deal.

Earlier in the evening, boba tea came up in conversation so I was craving it. We ordered boba tea and other drinks around 11:30 pm. Armed with the drinks, we watched a lot of song videos and discussed the movies, actors, dances, songs, and much more.

Sunday, May 11th

We watched TV until around 2 am. Then we stood in the balcony for a bit and chatted about random things for about 15 minutes. I was soaking up time with friends because I wouldn't have that for a while again.

When we all finally retired into our rooms, I watched The Rain in España on my phone. I ended up watching until 4 am or so, only sleeping when I saw the daylight slowly appearing outside. It was foolish but after all the random napping in the bus, I wasn't very sleepy and I was interested in the show.

I woke up around 7:45 am. We had all decided to wake up around 8-8:30 am so that we can have breakfast and check out of the stay. I ended up waking a bit earlier so I wrote morning pages for the first time in 5 days. My room was a small cute one, with long windows right next to the bed which let in a lot of sunlight. The bed was a great place to write morning pages.

My friends still weren't up by then so I got one of the boba teas left over from last night and sipped it while watching more of The Rain in España. When they finally woke up, I started packing. My allergy was looking bad but feeling a bit better so I put a bit more of the allergy cream.

My college friends group chat was active again, discussing a lot of theories that were going around online about the "real reason" the ceasefire was agreed to. Whatever the case, there were no escalations any more. No worries about my flight getting cancelled.

We ordered some breakfast. Weirdly, by the time it arrived, my allergy became really bad. I suddenly felt a lot of itching and when I looked in the mirror, it had completely become red and the entire area looked bad. For the first time, I noticed that my allergy had spread across my neck. It was like a red band around my throat. It kinda looked like I had been choked. Maybe the second application of the cream made it worse? This is why I don't like trying new things.

I went to my friend to get her opinion because I may be worrying more than necessary. Her reaction made me feel even more anxious. I had initially planned to go a doctor when I was back home but the earlier I'd be able to do that was Monday morning, because I was landing really late on Sunday. I decided to go to a doctor in Lucknow immediately, rather than wait and let it get worse. I found a doctor nearby online and called the clinic. The receptionist said that I can come around 11:30 am.

My appetite for breakfast was gone because of my worry. I had ordered poha but it was big enough to feed 3 people. I ate how much ever I could and asked my friends to have as well. I was looking at my allergy in the mirror every 5 minutes. I was literally pushing my friends to pack and get ready soon because I wanted to go to the doctor ASAP.

We finally checked out noon and booked autos to the doctor. My poor friends had to keep up with me rushing. It was a small clinic but the doctor sounded knowledgeable. I told him the allergy history, what creams I took, and my history of eczema. He prescribed a couple of tablets, a cream, and a lotion. Speaking to him, I felt better because he didn't seem rattled and said that it'll go. I took the meds immediately.

I had a flight around 7 pm so I had a bunch of hours to kill. My friends planned to attend the wedding reception (another event, from the groom's side, happening in Lucknow that evening) and take a flight around midnight. We couldn't get an extension at the Airbnb so we planned to chill at some café.

On the way to the cafe, the groom called. He had wanted to host us at his home for a bit but decided to meet at the reception itself. However, when my friend mentioned that I won't be at the reception, the groom called us home. His place was overrun by people and things the way a house with a wedding is. We holed up in his room with the couple and chatted a bunch.

His dad was so sweet, he went to a specific shop to get us lassi. It was really nice. Proper thick lassi. The family got us kachoris and other snacks too. My appetite was still not back so I didn't each much. We ended up staying for around a couple of hours. They gave us gift boxes of sweets as we left. The groom arranged a room for my friends to store their luggage and get ready at for the reception.

I planned to go with my friends and then leave for the airport soon. However, it took time to get a cab so I ended up booking a cab to go to the airport itself. The airlines asked passengers to arrive 3 hours in advance for extra checking due to the ongoing tensions. I ended up reaching very early. I wore a shirt that with a wide neck so that it wouldn't rub against my flaming skin. My check in was super smooth and finished in 15 minutes. One security guard asked about my neck and told me to put powder lol.

As there were still 3 hours left, I spent time watching The Rain in España on my phone. I had a protein bar right before the flight, that was my lunch. I just wanted to go home at this point. I was wore a cap the entire time and was trying to be in my own world, so that no one would stare at my clearly-something-is-wrong neck. I told my mom about my allergy and she said that she'll wait at the airport for me (she had just landed from her flight). She got worried, I guess.

The flight was good enough. I didn't select a seat and was given a first-row seat. I have never flown in those seats before, it was nice. I was sitting between two men. I was reading and listening to music for a while when the man on my left made conversation. Somehow, we kept talking until the end of the flight. He was in his 60s, I guess, and is a chief heart surgeon in a hospital here. It was an interesting conversation. He apparently thought I was a class 12 student for most of the flight 😂 I don't think I'm as friendly but considering that two people (the security guard and this man) started conversations with me, I guess I appear friendly. I kept moisturising my skin in the flight to help the allergy heal.

After landing at 9 pm, I quickly found my mom who was waiting at a cafe at the baggage claim. She waited so many hours for me, so nice. I left my backpack with her and waited for my checked-in suitcase. Guess what? It took an hour to get my suitcase. There was some issue and most passengers did not get their suitcases for an hour. There was nothing on the belt. After 45 minutes, my mom told me to eat a vada pav that she ordered and took my place to wait for the suitcase. Thankfully, while I ate, the bags arrived and she got mine.

We then had to take a cab home. There was a fairly long queue for it too. By the time we got a cab, it was around 10:15 pm. It takes almost an hour to drive home so I napped a bit in the cab. As I hadn't slept much the previous night, I didn't eat properly all day, and I was running around stressed, my energy was close to nil.

My mom saw how tired I was and said she'll pay the fare so I got off and took the suitcases. I made my way to the elevator and waited there for her. I was still in a sleepy haze. Only when we were in the elevator did I check for my phone and found that I didn't have my phone. I left it in the cab. I was so disappointed in myself and even more to tell it to my mom.

When we arrived at our floor, I removed our bags from the lift and immediately ran back down the stairs. The cab driver had left though. I was frantically thinking what to do when I remembered the Find My app in iOS devices. I ran back upstairs, asked my mom to turn on the wifi, and got my ipad out. While the wifi turned on, I used my mom's phone to call my phone but there was no response. I figured my phone was on silent as usual. Mom asked me to message him on Google Pay through which she paid but it doesn't allow that if paid through a scanner.

When the iPad connected to wifi, I immediately checked my phone's location. It (and the cab) was still in the main road, probably parked there because it wasn't moving. I could run there, but I didn't know if I'd catch up in time. So I used the Find My app to trigger a sound on my phone to get the driver's attention and then called again using mom's phone. He picked it up this time! I asked my mom to speak since she's more fluent in Telugu and I was too panicked to speak think and speak. He agreed to come back so I went back down and waited for him.

It took a while for him to come back because he had to go quite a bit ahead and take a u turn. I kept watching the distance on my watch. Finally, the driver came back and gave me my phone. I thanked him profusely and was so relieved.

I sat down for a few minutes at home, letting the adrenaline rush go down. I was far more awake but still absolutely exhausted. Thank goodness I knew how the Find My app worked (I used it once before to find one of the AirPods earbuds that I lost). I was so done with the day and wanted to go to bed. My mom finally had a proper look at my skin and that made me remember about it again.

My allergy was looking much better! My mom was still scared but it didn't look as bad as that morning. I was glad that the meds and creams were working and decided to keep using them.

I quickly took a shower, applied my creams and took the tablets, and got into bed. It was past midnight into Monday by then. I decided that I would take the day off from work and just rest and take care of my skin.

bonus updates

So far, all you've read is how my allergy started and became worse. I'm writing this a couple of weeks later so I can give you updates.

I didn't work on Monday and took good care of my skin. It was getting better and the top areas were fading. I was still reading only my comfort books at this point. I couldn't read anything new. I finished rereading Battle Royale by Lucy Parker.

I went to the office on Tuesday. My allergy was still super visible and my entire team was concerned. I wanted to hide it but I couldn't wear shirts whose cloth rubbed against it or let my hair down which would rub against it because I felt even the brush of a single hair strand.

On Wednesday, a team member commented that it looked as if the allergy is a necklace. Not a choker, but a necklace. I noticed it carefully and compared the current state with photos I had taken over the previous week (I was taking at least 2 photos a day to document changes). I realized that while the places where it was there were healing, the allergy was still spreading. It spread downwards and extended backwards. I got worried again. I called up the doctor in Lucknow and explained the development, he said to stick to the prescription.

I worked from home on Thursday. Noticed that the allergy had reached my collarbones which means it spread a whole 2 inches downwards. On Sunday, it wasn't close to collarbones. In the afternoon, the new area looked area and inflamed while the old areas were almost back to normal. Mom and I became worried. On Tuesday, my manager had mentioned that Google provides free-of-cost medical appointments through a partner app. I used it to make a virtual appointment with a new doctor.

The communication wasn't smooth through the app but we finally did speak and I sent photos, previous prescription, and told the history. She said that the previous prescription is bogus and to immediately stop it. "This is what happens when you don't consult a proper dermatologist. He is a cosmetologist." I was taken aback by that, because didn't it work?

She said that it's contact dermatitis (Makes sense, I'm prone to dermatitis. My eczema is atopic dermatitis, after all.) and gave a new prescription with totally different creams and a different, but only one, tablet. We couldn't find one of the creams anywhere nearby and had to order it online. It arrived the next morning (Friday).

On Friday, the allergy was still increasing and I didn't see any difference yet. It was painful too. There were a couple of new spots on my face as well. Mom and I became worried again. She asked her friend, whose husband is a doctor in this city, whether he knows a good dermatologist here. He said his brother-in-law is one but he just left the city and will be back in a few days. He asked us to send photos and the prescription instead. We did.

He forwarded it and spoke to his brother-in-law who said that the prescription is correct and to have patience. Even if we went to another doctor, they'd give the same combination under a different brand. This doctor has a lot of experience so his reassurance was a relief.

I had started reading posts on r/eczema in the meantime, to feel like I'm not alone. Some people have it so much worse than I do. After reading many helpful posts, I spontaneously made a huge post myself detailing the lifestyle changes I did which helped my eczema. Writing it calmed me down because it made me remember that I've been through worse bouts of allergies.

I also checked the medicines in the new prescription. The tablet is an antihistamine (but a drowsy kind, not like Allegra). The cream is a steroid cream used for dermatitis and psoriasis. The steroid cream that I took to Lucknow for my eczema is also for dermatitis and psoriasis. I could have probably just used that and curbed my allergy in the beginning stages. But I was afraid that it's something else and the cream would make it worse. After all, it's a steroid cream and not to be taken lightly.

Once I realized that the prescribed cream was a steroid cream, I knew I just had to wait. From past experience, I know that it takes a couple of days to affect but once it does, it'll be quick. Sure enough, we saw slight improvement on Saturday morning. More improvement over the weekend.

By Monday (almost 2 weeks since the allergy started), it was almost gone. I could wear shirts with short collars again! I could let my hair down again! The allergy popped up on my arms on Tuesday in small amounts, though. I immediately started applying the creams on the new areas too.

As I'm writing this section, it's Saturday May 24th. My neck allergy has healed. My neck looks clear again. My face is also clear. The spots on my arm are more stubborn but they look better. They're slowly healing.

Although the second doctor said that it's contact dermatitis, I can't think of anything that touched all the spots at the times they popped up. She said it'll most likely be jewelry but the spots on my arms showed up when I hadn't worn anything on my arms for a week.

Before they showed up on my arms, based on the dates and the food I ate, I thought it might be pineapple. I've not been allergic to pineapple or any other food item before but it's not uncommon for me to randomly develop allergies to things that used to be fine. The major indication is the fact that I ate pineapple in the airport lounge, a while before the itch started with a force. I didn't have pineapple afterwards at all but the weather, heat, and stress may have exacerbated it. I have no idea about the spots on my arms though.

For now, just to be safe, I'm making sure to moisturise often and I'm avoiding pineapple.

Mom and I discussed the allergy's timing and realized that it started around when our apartment started getting water tankers due to water shortage. We already knew that the tap water was bad but the tank water might be even more worse. So I'm using filtered water from our water purifier (which we use for drinking) to for washing up as well. It takes time but I felt the difference almost immediately. My skin doesn't feel super dry anymore.

Conclusion of the super long story filled with multiple stresses: contact a reputed dermatologist immediately when my skin isn't healing after multiple days. Have patience, meds take time to work. Pay attention to everything so that it's easier to find out the root cause of issues. There's nothing I can do about the rest—weddings and national tensions will always be stressful.

My best friend mentioned that, even though it's stressful, at least I'm dealing with new problems and not the same old. I guess that's a win?

chat with me!

This post is now 13 thousand words long. 13.9k to be more specific. This is my longest post so far, beating A Year of Being Active which was at the top for a while. Thanks for reading until here and listening to all of my rambles!

How was/is your week? What do you do when everything is stressful? How do you deal with random health issues? Are you super active on group chats, respond sometimes, or don't bother at all?